Our Top 10 American Idol’s performed again tonight and as usual Sanjaya Malakar sucked it royally! Sucked it so hard that it was good… good and ugly, good and bad, good and vote for the worst worthy once again. It couldn’t be more apparent that he really is just now trying to do whatever it takes to get voted off this freakshow. Which of course, makes us all want him on the show even more. I mean, who on earth could have expected him to come out tonight with a Ponyhawk of 7? Genius… this kid is money!

To vote for the worst, Sanjaya Malakar go ahead and dial 1-866-IDOLS-04

Onto the show. Someone how a singing competition thought it would be a good idea to have Gwen Stefani on. Sure she’s a great entertainer and pop icon but would anyone really say she’s a vocal dynamo? Her charm was always the unruly warble and canine heard only pitch she’s got going for her, none of which classify her as a great vocalist that should be giving singing hopefuls advice.

Many of you know my dislike of Gwen Stefani post Return of Saturn (minus the amazing cover of “It’s My Life”) so it should come to no surprise I said what I said. This however may surprise some… I actually thought she was really good on the show. She was articulate, thoughtful, and gave good comments and advice. She was in no way as involved or invested as LuLu was but she at least took the time to listen and give feedback on each kid. Plus, she didn’t look like a glam-whore and there was no sign of her Hirajuku slaves.

Lakisha Jones was first with Donna Summers’ “Last Dance” which really should have closed the show but what do I know? My favorite part of the whole Lakisha segment was when Gwen said she should take lessons from Lakisha… YA THINK? Lakisha was having fun and she did a good job. Jon thought it was time for Lakisha to get herself some new teeth. No he didn’t!

Chris Sligh did a cover of The Police’s “Every Little Thing” and it sucked every little bit that it could. Horrible rendition and seriously with that frakkin’ echo they had behind him. So annoying. Sting don’t need no echo, I can tell ya that much. I also thought he was rushing the song and that he looked slimy.

Gina Glocksen performed her ass off tonight! This was hands down her best performance ever. Perfect, Perfect, Perfect song choice. “I’ll Stand By You” is a really good song, its a late Pretenders song but a damn good one.

A question though… what the hell is the comparison between Chalk and Cheese all about? I’ve done my time with BritComs, and this is a new term. Simon so just made that up on the spot.

Oh and while I’ve digressed… Does Paula have new lips again? That’s like the third time this season. Soon she’ll be looking like that lion heiress lady. I’ve got shivers thinking about it. Creepers

Speaking of Creepy! SANJAYA MALAKAR ladies and gentlemen. WTF! “Bathwater” is actually one of my favorite No Doubt songs and this was just blasphemous. I love that he forgot the words both in front of Gwen and in front of the live audience. What a gem this kid is! We couldn’t ask for a better joke.

Sadly boys, there was no sighting of SANJAYA’s SISTER’s BREASTS. I know you all really like seeing them. Sorry gang. Maybe next time.

Haley Scarnato has to go home. Her outfit wasn’t nearly slutty enough to keep her there another week. Don’t get me wrong, it was Whorey McWhoresalot but not enough to get her many votes. Scarnato’s singing actually fills me with rage. I can’t stand listening to her faint crap vocals and how they ruin songs. I mean, “True Colors” has such edge and sincerity in its original state that this was almost a sin. Cyndi Lauper should slap her for this performance.

Phil (or is it Phyllis with all that make up) Stacey actually did the best job he’ll ever do on this show. I still can’t look at his alien head and his flat chapped lips but when he hits the zone, he nails it. The knit cap showing his balding head was not attractive. He had more makeup on than Scarnato and it was distracting. And what was with the echo again? Both Police songs had echo.echo.echo…

Melinda Doolittle showed some neck twice tonight! It was unbelievable. I rewound it numerous times because I couldn’t believe something really was able to come out of that tortoise shell she’s got working. “Heaven Knows” this song kicked some ass! She’s unbelievable and charming and fun. Her outfit, makeup and hair were all flawless. Rock it Doolittle!

Blake Lewis disappointed me. I was kind of excited that he was doing “Love Song” as he really could have done something original with it (like the Judges thought he had and gave him praise for) but he simply copied 311’s version. I completely forgot that 311 is his favorite band. He sounded fine but it wasn’t what I wanted out of the performance. He made the song lose all of its dark, tragic, goth anthem that has your girlfriend ripping your heart out and actually eating it. Blake, you did me wrong.

Wrong would also describe Jordin Sparks choice of outfit and song. “Hey Baby” is a novelty song with little substance and even less vocal showcasing. It sucked. I don’t know that I’ve ever been more wrong in my thoughts on a song and that of the judges. Somehow all three liked it. I was blown away. I thought it was childish, talentless, pointless, and almost insulting. I felt like I wanted her to lose because of it. She’s an amazing singer and so damn young so I understand her connection to the song but darnit if she didn’t miss the mark in my opinion. She could be going home because of that performance. I refused to vote for her tonight so – fingers crossed – she makes it.

Closing out the night was Chris Richardson who also did a No Doubt song. Notably their biggest radio hit, “Don’t Speak” is so iconic its hard to separate the original from a cover. This was the case tonight. I think Chris’ vocals were perfect and I liked the arrangement but I wonder if his nerves didn’t once again get the better of him. I hope not because I’m really routing for him.

I think the best tonight was Gina Glocksen. Doolittle would be next.

The worst is obviously Sanjaya but he’s also the best for being so bad. I’m adding Chris Sligh, Scarnato, and Jordin to the list this week.

What did you guys think?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 27th, 2007 at 8:39 pm and is filed under American Idol, Blake Lewis, Ducky Does TV, Ducky's Shop, Sanjaya Malakar, TV Boyfriends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.