American Idol last night was out of control.  Sanjaya Malakar actually said that he was going to show us all he can actually sing then pulled off his same lame Jackson Family whisper of a performance.  To top it off, he was dressed for the disco, he serenaded another tweener (at least this one wasn’t crying or hopped up on anti-depressants like that last child-wait am I getting her confused with Paula?), and took the forever your unstable girl Paula for a twirl!  It’s amazing I don’t do drugs because I swear I’m hallucinating his level of confidence and the cajones on this kid.

The hair, the suit, the dancing, the singing to prove a point…  Seriously I don’t think I stopped laughing until they went to a commercial break.  There has never, EVER, been a contestant like Sanjaya.  Sure William Hung (god what an atrocity) had a glimmer of humor but he didn’t make it anywhere near as far as our man SJ has.  That’s what I’m calling him, those of us in the “know” – SJ.

He is the best WORST contestant ever!  If he’s not in on this joke, I swear I’m going to hell for voting for him and wanting to keep the dream alive (you know, my dream of laughing every week at his unbelievably morphing hair and lame duck performance).

I don’t know how much I was feeling last nights performances overall. I think that Tony Bennett might have another 2 years in him because he went from being this really energetic and healthy looking fuller faced guy to being this withered gaunt brittle old man in the matter of no time. Never a good sign. Regardless, its Tony Bennett and the man rules.

Blake’s version of “Mack The Knife” was dead-on. I thought it was perfect for his voice and his style. I have a question though… why is he not showing any more of that ass? I loved the first couple weeks when he was just out there in his funky pants sporting a t-shirt and his cute little bubble butt but now nothing! Doesn’t he know that showing that ass a little will get him more votes? Take a cue from that slutbag Scarnato. That’s her whole strategy.

And can we discuss Scarnato for a second? I really don’t want to give her the honor of my blog time but she’s so pointless. She’s not that pretty folks. She’s got a big mole on her face, she’s sporting Kat McPhee’s hair, and last night her breasts were like two sagging flank steaks in a lettuce wrap. That dress was hid-to-the-eous. So ill fitting, it gave her a huge waist, a big behind, and did nothing for those boobs.

I’m just going free association now and sticking with boobs. Could they put Lakisha and Melinda into dresses that accentuate their bossom more? Seriously it was like shelves sitting atop their bodies. I know their both bigger girls but sweet jesus!

Did Lakisha’s calculated head movements and camera gaze not kill you? I was rolling at how ridiculous it was. Regardless, she can sing y’all! And what I love about Lakisha is how excited she gets by all of it. It endears me to her even though I love Melinda’s voice more. Doolittle is just phenomenal up there on that stage. When she performs it really is a different caliber of contestant, she is a professional, she is a seasoned vet and to be honest, she’s got the best ability of anyone that’s been on the show ever. Too bad she’s got that no-neck issue and the inability to let it out after a performance and say “I kicked ass!”

I refuse to discuss the alien with a sweaty head problem and a crappy lower register. I just won’t.

Jordin Sparks once again proved she deserves to be in the competition. Chris Richardson did his best Blake impression last night with his outfit and moves in the beginning on his song. I like Chris, I don’t know why but there is something just so darn sweet about him and I want him to do so well even though I think he’s got some confidence issues.

Am I missing anyone? I can’t recall them all. I think my favorite part about Idol this season is that the judges and the show have completely given up on Sanjaya. Even Randy last night couldn’t (and wouldn’t) comment on Sanjaya’s singing. Simon tried to take a different approach and praise the deludinoid. Seacrest refers to him as a legend and the crowd goes ape shit for him. It’s quite brilliant!

Before I sign off, I really just wanted to get to the part where I say that while I was in Vancouver this past weekend I got to watch Blake’s almost look-a-like, My BF Travis Wall on reruns of So You Think You Can Dance! MuchMusic is airing last season right now. So odd, but damnit wasn’t that the best surprise?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 4th, 2007 at 7:35 am and is filed under American Idol, Blake Lewis, Ducky Does TV, Sanjaya Malakar, TV Boyfriends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.