First and foremost, how great is it having So You Think You Can Dance back in our lives? It makes me nostalgic, it makes me feel like its summer, and for reals it makes me feel fat as hell with an ass two ax handles wide. Seriously!

Great seeing Cat, Nigel, Mary, and even Dan Karaty back for the NYC round of auditions. As usual with any reality competition, the first couple episodes are the freaks that audition just to be on television (with the occassional deludinoid thrown in for sad sack measure) and who are there to really just annoy the hell out of Nigel.

First up was Dancing Derrick. You may remember my friend Matt posting about Dancing D back when auditions began. What I didn’t know was that he would be recreating the final dancing demon scene from Buffy’s “Once More With Feeling” number. He was seconds away from burning a hole in the floor and singing about bunnies!

How ridonkulous that he exhausted himself so much that he needed medical attention. The sweat just pouring off his oblivious face was sicka.

More after the jump

The judges really tried to stay positive but when you have folks like Dancing Derrick, nerds like Carmen and Joel, and doucebags like SEX, it’s hard not to descend into condescending remarks and bickering.

My favorite part about Sex is that he brought his Mother out with him and she too felt the need to argue with Nigel about whether or not her retarded son should be dancing. Where on Planet New York do they find these people?

I’m always semi-annoyed that they breeze through the good contestants, you know, the ones with the instant pass to Vegas because we never really get to see any incredible dancing. I understand people will get hooked by the really bad bad bad dancers and the funny moments but as a die hard fan, I’d like a bone thrown my way on occasion.

Thankfully they showed us ballroom dance partners Pasha and Anya! Holy Smoking Hell my friends. These two were on fire with the sex appeal. Where Benji and Cousin Heidi blew us away with their skills and fun demeanor, these two blew us away with their practical fornication! Amazing, both of them.

Jamal and E-Knock were a treat and I had to root for them as they’re Boston boys! Jamal was incredible to watch. E-Knock’s flips were frakkin’ amazing! Sorry to see that E didn’t make it but super pleased that Jamal did!

Quasi-Alterna-Dancer Heather Zampier was pretty good too. Her story is wonderful. How many folks do you know that have had two hip surgeries and can dance the way she can? Granted she’s not incredible and she didn’t blow me away but compared to the wankers we saw for most of the 85 minutes, she was Twila Tharp.

No one, and I mean no one has a story like Hannah-Lee though! I swear they paid her to come and audition just to get that story. We all heard about the horrible dance floor collapse in Israel a few years back but who on Planet New York could have expected a survivor of that to show up on SYTYCD? That video of those couple hundred people just dropping out of frame is the scariest straight out of an action movie shit I’ve ever seen!

Granted, girl wasn’t that good but thankfully she did make it to Vegas.

Once again, parents I urge you to take your children to trained dance professionals for lessons because if this show has taught us anything over the last two seasons its that jerkoffs who can barely balance on their own two feet let alone twirl or dance a real techical dance are out there training people. I swear if one more idiot tells Nigel and Mary that they’re a dance instructor, one of them might kill that person. How is it possible? They have to just be from these podunk towns in the sticks, right? Do you think people are saying they’re dance instructors when really they teach the homeless or some underpriviledged after school program of something?

Where on earth do they find these people? And please, let there be more of them because we are only part way through the audition process! Next week is Los Angeles, Chicago, and I think Atlanta. I’m sure they’ll come out in droves!

Oh, and they showed winner Benji Schwimmer in the preview for next weeks auditions so he must be the Guest Judge!

I have one question… WHERE IS MY BF TRAVIS WALL?

*Don’t forget to catch up with last years So You Think You Can Dance Tour by clicking here and reading the Tour Diaries! And, my girl GMMR will also be obsessing over our dancing dynamos all summer so be sure to check out her site as well!

This entry was posted on Friday, May 25th, 2007 at 6:20 am and is filed under Ducky Does TV, Premiere, So You Think You Can Dance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.