One thing is abundantly clear after two weeks of auditions on Fox’s summer smash So You Think You Can Dance. A lot of idiots do indeed think that they can dance. None of those idiots however have the last name of Schwimmer.

Seriously, what is in the Morman water out west that’s helping produce these genetic dancebots in the Schwimmer clan? Season Two Winner Benji Schwimmer was accompanied in the final four by his Cousin Heidi. Last night, he returned to the show not as a Judge like many of us had assumed but as a dance partner for his little sister Lacey Schwimmer. Benji’s just a character and I love him. His sister was equally as talented and she’s like the Youth Swing Dance Champion or something. Love her and she needs to make it to the Top!

Loved that Yesi girl who auditioned and had Shane Sparks jumping for joy. Girl’s got some girth but she can move like you wouldn’t believe! She’s got a great energy, spirit, and technique and I cannot wait to see what she brings to the table if she makes it past Vegas. Go Girl!

While we’re still talking Shane, can we talk about Phillip, the Pop-Locker that actually brought a tear to Shane Sparks’ eye? Tears folks, a grown macho hip hopping man was reduced to tears at the unreal talent this kid has. I’ve never seen popping like this, he was sick and I swear he’s got rubber for bones. His arms would wave in ways noone’s arms should be able to wave unless they’ve just broken it in 14 places skateboarding on MTV’s Scarred. This is the video I’ll be searching for most today. If someone finds it first, please email Ducky and let me know!

*Update: Emily (we heart you) found the video of Phillip Chbeeb popping in his So You Think You Can Dance audition.

I loved the two alternakids that were doing old school dirty 20s style swing dancing. The tragic couple where he’s sickly in love with his dance partner yet she’s betrothed to another back in NYC and in her eyes they’re “just friends.” There was something about their unpolished and nasty swing that made me love them. First of all, they’ve both got personality out of the ass and they’re just darn cute. I hope one or both make it in Vegas. I know some will criticize them because they’re not the polished package that Benji and people of the West Coast Swing are but I think this is a great alternative to the norm and if they can pull it off, wonderful! I’m rooting for them.

The swinger with the hiccups was really good. I think it must be hell on earth to have to live with the hiccups that long. I know how horrible it is because I had the hiccups once for 40 hours straight and I wanted to kill myself. My back hurt, my stomach was in knots and this dude’s had them for like 14 zillion times longer. Brotha, I feel you. Back to his dancing. He had good form and control and was really fun to watch as long as you didn’t look to the right.

Seriously the winking bug-eyed tongue showing partner he had was killing me. What the hell! She was funny and had personality but I didn’t think she was nearly as good as he was but somehow the girls on to Vegas. Nigel saying he wanted to wave at her everytime she winked was pretty darn funny but nothing compares to the laugh heard around the world.

Mary Murphy is known for her enthusiastic screams but now Mary Murphy laughing at the dancer with the hiccups might actually top that howler we’ve become familiar with. Hands down one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard and it had me rolling with fits of my own boombastic laughter. Nigel, Wade, and Mary just lost it and it took quite some time to regain the composure we’re used to from our Judges.

The little annoying high school girl with the sick body and brown dance outfit jammed halfway up her ass was really good too. I think she might be a little much to take in the personality department but sweet lord if she can maintain the level of dance she had last night, she’s one to look out for. I really love that she was so into the show and Cat. Great fun, SYTYCD and Cat have broken through as a cultural phenom!

I know I’m heartless but one of the lamest moments of the evening came from the Natalie wannabe who hadn’t danced in 3 years because she had a skin rash or a case of the uglies or something… I know I shouldn’t laugh but when she said, “This may be one of the last chances my Mother has to see me dance,” I almost died! Her poor Mother is so not knocking on deaths door. She found a lump in her breast and was going in for a biopsy which is pretty standard. I’m not saying its not horrible and scary and with it being that day, that it wasn’t hard for her… BUT she was talking as if her Mother had already been diagnosed with a life ending form of breast cancer and she had 6 days left to live. It was ridiculous and so’s she. But honestly, could she be more like Natalie? (There you go Lil Jenn, another one for ya)

What else?

Nigel was a complete ass and so totally out of line by calling that kid in the beginning “fat.” The kid could move (given, like a girl) and was better than a lot of the douches we see during the audition process.

The Mexican Wrestling Mask guy was just plain stupid but I found it hysterical they let him through to choreography… just ’cause.

Hok’s return was well worth the wait. Hok and the SickStep Crew are simply mindblowing and his routine last night to Xtina’s “Aint No Other Man” was genius. Big big things expected out of this boy and I really pray he’s not a one trick pony!

It was missing limbs night on SYTYCD! WTF? I’m gonna get hate mail but all I could think was that with that one girl’s missing arm and that last guy’s missing leg, there’s half a dancer out there in a medical waste pile somewhere. It’s so random and horrible but I have a sick mind and in general I’m a good and compassionate person, I swear. I just walk by the homeless, I don’t spit on them! Too far?

I kid, I kid…

Tonight, the last of the audition cities airs… Atlanta! Next week, VEGAS BABY!

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 31st, 2007 at 7:14 am and is filed under Benji Schwimmer, Casting, Ducky Does TV, So You Think You Can Dance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.