PSYCH Recap
Season 2 - Episode 2: “65 Million Years”
Recap by: Mel

As usual, we open in 1987, where Mini-Gus walks into the classroom wearing a gigantic, hollow T-Rex head that he made. And since he’s, like, 8, you’d probably think it’s all ugly and messy and paper-mache-y and, like, brontosaurus-shaped, right? WRONG. IT’S PRETTY AND T-REX-SHAPED. I love Mini-Gus. Mini-Shawn made -ahem, more like bought- a T-rex, too, which is like eight inches tall and strapped to a remote-control car, and everyone forgets about Mini-Gus. Sad.

Present day, and Lassie is staring down some dude who finally confesses, and apparently this is his eight billionth confession in a row and all his po-po compadres are way proud of him. By the way, Lassie’s first name is CARLTON. As in The CARLTON Dance on ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’?! HA! Remember when they broke William Shatner’s tooth, and Carlton was all, “Don’t worry, Captain. We’ll get you to the dentist, WARP SPEED!” I love Carlton. Anyways, Shawn is feeling cast aside, and hits on Jules some, then follows Lassie to a crime scene on the beach. He sees the puncture wounds on the body, and does his spazzy and constipated psychic schtick, drawing a surprisingly well-shaded and happy-looking T-Rex portrait. Lassie, Jules, and Chief pretty much ignore him, which makes me a little sad. Segue to Gus, WHO IS VERY AND I MEAN VERY UPSET WITH SHAWN, and refuses to accompany him to the morgue to view Dead Punctured Guy.

Shawn shows up at the morgue wearing Gus’s old but still ridiculously giant T-Rex head, and though I am seriously still loving her hair, the chief is a little one-note in her annoyance at times, this being one of them. It’s funny to watch this scene, though, cause during the credits they show Kirsten Nelson (Chief) just absolutely busting a gut during all of this, not being able to keep a straight face worth a dime, and it’s a really fun couple of outtakes. So, Shawn heads to his dad’s place, only to find Gus sitting in the kitchen eating a cupcake. With a spoon. What? I know. Anyway, Henry staged an intervention with a shrink, but Shawn psyches his way out of it because shrinks are stupid, or so those poor Geico Cavemen say. And Gus went through a Terence Trent D’Arby stage? Heeeee. Wish me love a wishing well, indeed. Chief and Lassie interrupt, and Chief tells everyone that the vic was a Paleontology professor. Which explains the T-Rex stuff I guess. Shawn talks briefly to a student named Ethan who says that the Paleontology program at the college the dead professor worked at was thisclose to getting the ax. Strings of Intrigue, but not really.

Gus somehow breaks into the professor’s garage, which is full of skeletons galore and a bunch of instruments that really should maybe have stayed in the lab cause I’m sure they’re super-major expensive but whatever, that’s cool. Lassie and Jules aren’t far behind, so Shawn eyes something special about a box of pomegranates or something, and they jet. They talk to a guy at the Ojai fruit stand that the box came from, and he directs them to a nearby farm. Shawn and Gus find a bunch of giant holes, a la “Holes”, starring Shia Labeouf (Imaginary Boyfriend Alert!), but someone starts shooting at them. They run like sissies, which really, if you’ve seen the first season’s finale, it’s pretty much par for the course. They’re complete pansies. Back at the station, Shawn is dancing around the info he’s gathered from the farm when Lassie strides in with Jules and is all grossly proud of himself, since he found a pick-up truck with what he believes to be the murder weapon, and they both (I think) have Ethan’s prints on them. Lassie is so smug, and it makes it so much easier for me to enjoy my love/hate TV relationship with him, and even MORE easy to appreciate the very funny Timothy Omundson, especially since he played an evil leprechaun in that awesomely bad Disney movie that I love.

Shawn, not to be deterred, heads to his father’s house to borrow some tools so that he and Gus can rustle them up a clue or two. Henry seems creeped out by this farm they’re heading to, and is all cutely-but-manly worried about Shawn. Aw, Henry’s sweet sometimes. So, they get back to farm and Shawn realizes that Professor T-Rex was digging the holes in a certain pattern, also revealing that the one hole they actually need to dig in is the only one that’s been filled by a bulldozer, and Princess Gus is so adorably indignant because there is just no possible way that any self-respecting, down-on-his-luck, incredibly desperate, thisclose to losing his job Paleontology professor would EVER use a bulldozer. How DARE you accuse!

So, the two dig until they find fossils that, to Gus’s amazement, have already been cleaned (and covered back up in dirt?), processed, and had a bunch of other paleontologist-y type stuff done to them. Shawn is sick of digging, so he retrieves a leaf blower that he apparently carries around for leaf-and-dirt blowing emergencies, and the two blow the dirt off of a totally fake-looking T-Rex skull that Gus swears is real. Couldn’t the producers have sprung for an ACTUAL one just this one time? I’m sure they could’ve worked something out with The Dinosaur Museum. Just sayin’.

Shawn decides they need to speak with the owner of all this land, and he teases
Gus about pretending to be Lenny from ‘Of Mice and Men’, and Gus awesomely threatens Shawn with the dreaded Indian Burn. How old-school is that!?! I would really like to marry Gus. They don’t have any luck with the owner, a grizzly old man who suspiciously slams the door in their faces at the first mention of Paleontology. I forget his name, so he’ll be referred to as Farmer Grizz. Eyeing some holes behind the house -nowhere near the others, and all dug with a bull-dozer- Shawn answers his ringing cell and is exasperated that it’s Henry, who is pretty much practically stalking him, for sobbing out loud. He tells Shawn, though, that Farmer Grizz used to have a partner, who mysteriously disappeared years back after some kerfuffle or other.

Shawn realizes that Farmer Grizz shot and killed his partner and buried him somewhere on the farm, but in his old age, can’t exactly remember where, explaining his refusal to allow digging -especially by Professor Paleontology- anywhere on his land. He knew that if anything important was unearthed, the whole place would be over-turned, thus exposing his secret sooner or later. When he caught the professor digging, Dr. Dino smashed his head or some other important body part (what, my mind’s still sort of on HP7, SORRY GEEZ) on the fossil, so Farmer Shooty Pants dumped the body so that all the clues would be washed away with… salt water? Really? I… okay cool, I’m just going with it. Batman and Robin call Lassie, Chief, and Jules to the scene, somehow arriving two seconds before Henry, who manages, of course, to ruin all Shawn’s Psychic Revelation Fun because he is a hot, almost-bald Fun-Ruiner with calves like GRANITE. Damn, Corbin. Call me.

At the station, Lassie is sad that his winning streak is over, and gets a hug from Jules, which was a really nice moment for the two of them. I think they weirdly bonded during Lassie’s ill-fated winnings, and I really love that he’s allowing Jules (who still calls him Carlton! Tee!) to slowly dismantle his Berlin Wall Soul, if you will, brick by bitchy, snarky brick. She’s sort of his Hasselhoff! Aw. At Henry’s, the shrink is back, but surprisingly, though not really so much, for Henry and his ridiculous need to control everything. Shawn is understandably thrilled, and the episode ends with Henry kicking Shawn, Gus, and Shrink out of his house, with very well-defined calf muscles.

Next week: Lou Diamond Phillips! SHIRTLESS! I think I can pencil that in…

This entry was posted on Monday, July 23rd, 2007 at 8:34 pm and is filed under Mel, Psych, Ducky Does TV. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.