Few shows on television these days make me wet my pants like ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT did back in the day. 30 ROCK is the closest replacement we’ve had and it definitely took the thrown when the Bluth’s retired in 2006, but one sitcom’s worth of diaper drenching time isn’t nearly enough in my week.

While I heart BIG BANG THEORY, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and their consistency, neither delivers the “more absurd the better” funny I want and need in my life at the moment.

Thankfully, all that will change when BETTER OFF TED finally airs tonight on ABC!

Better Off Ted is set in the over-zealous research and development firm Veridian, where if you dream it, they’ll build it or blow you up trying. The show was created by one of the twisted minds behind ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE, Victor Fresco, and it shows. Ted is random, zany and manic… just how I like my comedy!

Jay Harrington (the heinous US version of Coupling) stars as Ted, the main character that channels Michael Bluth and Bruce Campbell to become the Don Draper-esque straight man. Portia de Rossi (Arrested Development, Ally McBeal) once again scores comedy gold as the immoral, ambitious yet clueless boss Veronica. Andrea Anders (Joey, The Class) finally landed herself a role that’s funny, this time as the Girl Friday love interest Linda. Malcolm Barrett and Jonathan Slavin are the retarded geniuses, Lem and Phil, who suffer for their craft and the company’s betterment. Then there’s Isabella Acres as Ted’s daughter Rose (who for some reason reminds me of Curly Sue).

I’ve watched the Better Off Ted pilot episode 5x already and I laugh just as hard as I did with the first viewing. There are some one liners that will slay you and there are some sight gags (Phil’s frozen smile and subsequent flashbacks I’m talking about you) that will have you rolling on the floor. Don’t be fooled, this is not your typical sitcom. It’s a single camera comedy that moves at a breakneck pace and I guarantee that when it’s over you’ll just hit “rewind” and watch it all over again.

I love that Ted is this 50’s-ish sales man totally un-phased by the incredibly corrupt world around him. I love that Portia plays Veronica with a little bit of Lindsay Bluth (Funke) in her because that’s what she does best. I love that there are deadly pumpkins, irritating chairs and the cryogenic freezing of coworkers… I love that there’s a little bit of Andrew from BUFFY in Phil and a little Penelope from SNL in Lem.

Most of all, I love the following quotes/jokes because they’re the ones I hope everyone will be talking about tomorrow morning.

And hands down the best line of the night…

Yes, it’s finally time to start the Katrina jokes. Bravo Better Off Ted. Bravo!

Better Off Ted Promo Pics:

Please do not miss the amazing premiere of BETTER OFF TED tonight at 8:30pm on ABC!

HARPER’S ISLAND premieres April 9th on CBS. Here are some semi-spoilery promo pics to get the blood flowing (boiling, spilling and gurgling).

Harper’s Island Photo Gallery:

Interested in knowing more about the Harper’s Island characters on the chopping block? Check out their Harper’s Island Character Bios.

*Enter to win a Harper’s Island Prize Pack!

If you’ve watched CBS at all lately, you can’t hide from their newest show and that my friends is good marketing. On April 9th at 10pm, CBS will launch its 13 week murder mystery series HARPER’S ISLAND which will air every Thursday night until the mystery is solved/killer is revealed on July 2nd!

Harper’s Island stars the j’adorable Christopher Gorham (Ugly Betty, Jake 2.0, Popular) as “The Groom”, Katie Cassidy (Supernatural) as “The Bride”, Harry Hamlin as “The Uncle”, Richard Bergi as “The Father of the Bride” and guest stars Jim Beaver (Supernatural) as “The Sheriff.”

It’s a huge cast (more for the killing) and a very ambitious premise so I can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

I’ve been psyched about the show since the day they announced Gorham, Cassidy and Beaver to the cast but really, my horror loving brain wants to see this for the mystery and the gore. I can’t lie. When I watch previews or read about Harper’s, I can’t help think about APRIL FOOLS DAY or HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME and I hope it doesn’t play out in the same manner. I’m not saying I don’t love both of those films (because I do) I’m just saying its too obvious an ending if they go in either direction. None of that matters because I’m super excited to get the slashing started.

Harper’s Island Synopsis:
HARPER’S ISLAND is a 13-episode murder mystery about a group of family and friends who travel to a secluded island for a destination wedding. They’ve come to laugh… to love… and, though they don’t know it… to die. As the wedding festivities begin, friendships are tested and secrets exposed as a murderer claims victims, one by one, transforming the wedding week of fun and celebration into a terrifying struggle for survival. Abby Mills, whose mother was killed on the island by a homicidal maniac’s rampage seven years ago, journeys home for the first time since the horrific event for the wedding of her best friend, Henry Dunn. Henry, the boy next door, is marrying the woman of his dreams, Trish Wellington, a beautiful and wealthy heiress. But as the wedding week begins, people start dying. Every episode, someone is killed. Wedding guests and island locals, every person is a suspect. No one is safe. No one can be trusted. By the end of the 13 episodes, all questions will be answered, the killer will be revealed and only a few will survive.

Check out the Harper’s Island Picture Gallery!

*Enter to win a Harper’s Island Prize Pack!

Harper’s Island Character Bios after the jump… (more…)