SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Season 5 Miami/Memphis Auditions
Posted by: Ducky in Cat Deeley, Ducky Does TV, So You Think You Can Dance, So You Think You Can Dance Season 5
Last night the auditions for SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Season 5 continued in Miami and Memphis. The one thing I hate about locations auditions are the city centric call outs and stereotypical commentary. Enough with the salsa expectations, caliente, local flavor shout-outs. Give it a rest shall we?
MIAMI Auditions:
A faker crack pot named Tony Riendeau did some flopping around on the floor, coined his own style of dance “The Tony” and then proceeded to feign a Mariah exhaustion episode after being made fun of by the Judges. Nigel got a kick out of Tony which pisses me off because he’s so inconsistent. Either love them all or hate them all Nigel (like Simon does on IDOL) because I’m sick of your wishy-washy attitude with the jokester auditions. Toothy ass.
The quirky Priscilla Marrero can thankfully dance better than she can form a sentence. While her grasp of sentence structure and making any kind of sense are weak, her style was great and I really enjoyed watching her. I wonder what’s under that huge tent-like blue dress though. Is she stick thin or stocky like a gymnast? Better yet, is she preggers?
Season 4 rejects Janette Manrara and Romulo Villaverde brought some high energy semi-dangerlicious action to the stage. They had this crazy *pow* backflip split-lift thing that makes me wonder how many of Romulo’s teeth are original because you know that girl’s kicked him in the face more than 100 times or so in trying to perfect that move. Crazy!
Joseph Smith aka Sha-wham did this showy, limited routine that for some reason Nigel and Mary enjoyed but it worked my nerve. Was I the only one that thought he kinda looked like Urkel?
Tapper Erik “Silky” Moore was adorable and his Michael Jackson tap-homage was pretty damn good. His moon walk was sick, right? Even more sick was his worm-reverse worm action. Did he deserve a direct shot to Vegas? I don’t know, I would have loved to see what he could do with the choreography.
I had little to no confidence that pageant queen, Miss Washington Paris Torres, would be any good but her demented ballerina performance was one of my faves so far this season. It helps that it was set to Yael Naim’s haunting and simple version of Britney Spears’ “Toxic” – download it now, it’s cramazing!
I hate that we had limited views of contemporary dancer 19 year old Henry Riviero because his skill was excellent and the boy went straight to Vegas. Same with legs for miles Alex Wong and Megan Kinney (who btw has horribly fried and crispy hair).
The “Pulls at the Heartstrings Audition” goes to Talia Rickards who lost her young husband in a motorcycle accident a year prior to the audition. She mixed some street into her latin and salsa but it kinda bored me along with the Judges. She was good but she’s wasn’t show ready. Regardless, she made it through to choreography and ultimately to Vegas along with 31 other dancers.
The Bad Dancers of Miami:
The Terrible Gaudix Twins not only had bad outfits but bad eye shadow and dance moves. If Wislande Latang isn’t a stripper with her step-ball-change moves, stripper crotch flashes and tits, I’m a 35 year old married straight man with 4 children.
Before moving on to Memphis, can I just say that I’m way over guest judge Tyce Diorio. Right off the bat his commentary was annoying me. He just worked my nerve. He was trying to be funny and quirky and witty but he just came across as immature, fake and performy. Maybe it was seeing him be a douche in the doc Every Little Step that has me down on him or maybe he’s just a conceited asshole through and through, eithe way, how about we keep Tyce behind the scenes from now on? Is that a deal SYTYCD?
The pretty great Memphis audition recap is after the jump…
MEMPHIS Auditions:
Can we get a what-what for having the d’awesome LIL C in the house?!!! Shit, they could have put Lauren Gottlieb up there as the guest judge and I’d been happy to have anyone other than Tyce on my television (and we all know how much I want to slap her in the face so…).
I love that in the B-roll they had the cleanest girl with the whitest teeth saying “Welcome to the Dirty South y’all” – just an observation that made me laugh and probably wasn’t worth mentioning but there you have it. Anyways…
First up is a dapper yet scrawny Police Officer named Mariko Flake that does a style named Memphis Jukin’ which is basically rhythmic steppin’ with some poppin’ thrown in for good measure. It was fun to watch but I don’t know that he could handle what Lil C would throw at him. Too nice and cutesy for some buck wild krumpin’ and its crazy that they sent him straight to Vegas.
Hip-hopper Dustin Dorough is one of those delusional douchers that claims he’s 2nd cousin’s with Backstreet Boy Howie D and is ONLY suited for male revue dancing. The excuses and the hair were too much for my taste. Gotta appreciate Lil C for offering up the boy some tips on taking on a style called Trickin’ – I would have just sent the bitch packin’.
Some dreadlocked dirty hippy created a new style called Electric and its a mixture of raving, cheerleading, euro-hawaiian dance douchery. This guy is one of those asshats that just wants to be on television and didn’t want to give the Judges the courtesy of a critique and for the first time in a long time I’m agreeing with Nigel that he’s being rude. Who knew?
Caitlin Kinney, is the sister of the before mentioned crispy haired Kinney from Memphis and while we didn’t get to see much of crispy, super thin relaxed Kinney showed great promise, personality and more than a few ribs (could she BE skinnier?). It’s crazy to learn that she had hip reconstruction and has only been dancing for 5 years. All in all, it’s not a shocker that she went straight to Vegas (along with her sister).
Day 2 in Memphis kicks off with a sprite little thing named Anna Dunn who’s Father killed himself a year ago. Where do they find these sob stories? I’m not trying to be heartless, I’m just shocked that there are so many of these horribly depressing stories out there and that the Producer’s find them all. Anna was a little spastic and restrained but she showed great promise and I’d love to see how she grows. In other words, I hope she makes it to Vegas if not past (she did!!!).
Big gay Travis Prokop grew up in a FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS kinda town and his Dad is the football Coach that understands, loves and supports his son. Whether or not he makes it, this damn story was worth seeing. The Judges’ main criticism was that he’s a little too weak for his height and want him to build his strength. He moved on to choreography and then on to Vegas!
Laurel and Hardy Quirky throwback brothers Evan and Ryan Kasprzak are simply adorable together but thankfully auditioned separately. Evan made it to the final round in Vegas last year and has this killer Gene Kelly/Broadway style that is hot as hell and went straight through to Vegas again this year. Brother Ryan is one hell of a comic and one killer tap dancer. He had me rollin’ with his whoopy cushion routine and I’m dying to see what else he can do. I guess we’ll have to wait until Vegas when the Kasprzak Brothers face off.
Twins Lauren and Lydia Guerra were so saccharine and pastel that I prayed they would suck, shockingly the Judges sent them to choreography and then on to Vegas, once again proving there is no God.
Tonight (Thursday) we’ll see the Los Angeles and Seattle auditions. I’m dying to see The Shankman on my television but I’m even more excited to see that Mia Michaels will be there as well!
PS – look out, Sex is back… gods help us all!
*Don’t forget to download the songs you heard in tonight’s episode by checking out the So You Think You Can Dance Season 5 Music Guide!
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May 28th, 2009 at 9:51 am
I only caught the tail end of Memphis, and saw Tyce’s comments in the horror clip package. I kinda dug it, but see how you might want to slap him after a whole hour of ‘tude. Especially when this show is generally about constructive not destructive feedback
May 28th, 2009 at 11:34 am
I know Dustin Dorough personally and he’s not a “delusional doucher.” The fact you wrote what you did based on an EDITED television show is just plain ignorant. I won’t sit here and type out how great a guy Dustin is and how hard he worked on getting to the auditions or the fact he was telling the truth about not being able to move 5 days prior to the auditions. But you don’t care. You’re here to slander people and make them feel bad and get a laugh out of it.
Well, I guess I can say I feel better about myself making it in this world if people like you can.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Way to be so shallow on Dustin’s audition. Did you even watch the show? You could see the entire clip was edited right? I wonder why the ENTIRE AUDIENCE was clapping for him when he was finished. It was because everything he did amazingly was cut out. You know these are real people you are critiquing. What gives you the right to shut down a video clip? You weren’t even there! You have no idea what actually happen. I’d LOVE to see you do half as well as him. Where is your dance experience? What school did you go to? Where have you performed.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Wow. Lots of Dustin supporters out there. Sorry to say but I tend to agree with Ducky here. Was rolling my eyes during his talk about being Howie D’s cousin and yet he’s never met any of the Boys? Oook.
Also, never EVER come back with, “Well, I’ve been sick.” Especially in these type of competitions. When people in the Top 20 get sick they still have to perform with everyone else. It’s not an excuse that will endear you to the judges.
PS: People who go on auditions for reality shows need to have thick skins. And apparently their friends do too.
Anyway, can we talk about the douche on last night’s show? That Dreadlock Dude was too much. Didn’t he basically just bounce in place for several minutes? Then he walked off because he didn’t like what the judges had to say? Whatever, Dude.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I agree with Ducky and Rae.. and I am convinced that Elizabeth and John Tibbetts II are both Dustin…. Either way… Ducky is entitled to his opinion and he is not holding a gun to your head telling you to read it.
May 28th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Okay… another Dustin comment – I too know the kid personally (went to highschool with him down in Tifton, GA and we sang in the show choir together), and I happen to know John Tibbets as well so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he’s not Dustin. But anyways, he really WAS sick, he really IS related to a backstreet boy, and he CANT dance. he’s awesome at martial arts, but he’s been dancing for so many years that no one’s ever bothered to tell him he’s not that great at it. John, that’s awesome that you support your friend like that – I totally respect it. But if we’re being truthful, Dustin’s not going to make a living by dancing – he’s just not. Knowing Dustin (at least a few years ago, I’m sure this hasn’t changed since then), he doesn’t have a good perception of how others see him. It’s no different than the people that go on American Idol and don’t make it but continue to think that they’re really talented singers (and for the record, John, you’re a very talented singer). Sometimes to be a supportive friend you have to tell the truth.
May 28th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Stop with the ” they edited me” excuse…no one edited him saying he was 2nd cousin to a backstreet boy, no one would have known if he didn’t say it to have attention be focused on him. Who cares? This is a dance competition what does that have to do with anything that is going on there? If you want attention focused on you be a great dancer…period.
Yes, it is an edited tv show and that was the brief before he even got there, this is the 5th rip of the band-aid. Your an adult, understand what and where you are going to. This is not a 2hr E! True Hollywood Story about Dustin the delusional doucher dancer. There are other dancers and auditions that span two cities to fit into 2hrs. They edited his audtion down in time but they didn’t cut and paste it into an entirely different routine. His audition wasn’t a series of jump cuts, so knock it off.
I wouldn’t hang how good I am by the golf clap after people audition they are just being polite. When someone bad auditions they clap also remember “Krazy Kate”? They clap and laugh and give the person next to them the ” Is this person for real?” look. People in the audience always clap after everybody who auditions even if they suck, if they suck they clap and then laugh because where they are sitting is always less lit than the stage and they can show their real feelings in the protection of the shadows.
May 28th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
that dustin dude has a horrible perception of his own abilities as a dancer. the other dustin knower was absolutely correct – some1 needs to set this dude straight. he can not dance at all and was surely just put thru as a funny act. doesnt matter how u cut music or if u were sick 5 DAYS AGO or whatever the hell excuses u all want to give – the dancing SUCKED!! his friends need to quit kissing ass, grab sum balls, and tell him wats up.
and the guy with dreadlocks…y dance for judges and not want to be critiqued so u can get better?
May 29th, 2009 at 12:44 am
John Tibbetts II: You seem to be looking for someone with credibility, you know, besides the JUDGES on the show. I majored in dance at the University of Alabama and was also accepted into several other universities for that major, such as UF and NYU. I’ve danced all of my life and have recently been hired to perform in Parson’s. Now hear this:
Your friend CAN’T dance. He can’t. Terrible technique. Lots of excuses.