Sit back, relax, open your presents and tell us what you got!

A CHRISTMAS STORY has been a family tradition in my house since the film was released in 1983. It’s a brilliantly funny, wickedly sarcastic and incredibly sweet family film that has become an icon for the holidays.

Way before TNT began airing 24 hours of A Christmas Story back in 1997, not a holiday went by in our house where we didn’t watch the film a good 5 times before the season was over. Up there with Christmas Vacation, it’s a holiday film that will forever represent Christmas to me and my family for as long as I live.

I have the original short stories by Jean Shepherd, I have the audio book with Dick Cavett’s brilliant narration and of course I’ve owned countless pieces of paraphernalia (what about A Christmas Story Monopoly – cramazing) over the years as well as both the VHS and DVD’s.

It’s 8:00pm on Christmas Eve and that means it’s time for a major award! It’s time to open Aunt Clara’s present and it’s time for those sonsabitchesbumbuses to scavenge our turkey! It’s time for a triple-dog-dare! It’s time to listen to that shim tell you over and over how much she/he likes The Wizard of Oz! It’s time for Little Orphan Annie! It’s time to pack your brother into so many layers that he can’t put his arms down and so that he can’t get up, can’t get up, can’t.get.up!

Settle in for 24 hours of Bob Clark’s A Christmas Story and have a Happy Happy Christmas!

Very few things in the world make me as happy and nostalgic as A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS. It’s basically perfection and I’m still obsessed to this day. The holidays have always been a time for Charles Schulz’ Charlie Brown specials and while I dig them all, A Charlie Brown Christmas is the one that has the biggest emotional impact on me.

I won’t lie, the simplicity and beauty of the Vince Guaraldi score brings such a wave of emotion that I’ve been known to get a little teary when the opening sequence begins…

Even though I’m not religious by any means, Linus describing (or preaching) the true meaning of Christmas is maybe my favorite part of the whole show.

Everything about this special makes me smile and that’s why it’s my favorite Christmas special of all time. Chuck rules! I’ve got the DVD, I still own the VHS, I have the soundtrack and two jigsaw puzzles about this special. This year when I went to San Francisco, I forced Jon to drive up the coast to the Charles M. Schulz Peanuts Museum… I’m Charlie Brown crazy, I’ll admit it – ain’t nothing wrong with that!

Oh wait, there’s more… What about that crazy arm waving they do? It’s like Christmas Magic hands and that brings me to this old SNL classic…

Happy Holidays gang!

Christmas just wouldn’t be the same without all of the Rankin/Bass holiday classics of my youth. I mean come on, The Cricket on the Hearth has to be a major achievement in the world of animation and Christmas joy, right? I kid…

Screw the cricket, throw that bitch into the fire because it’s all about a couple other (and way more genius) claymation/animated oldies that make my heart go all pitter-pat at Christmastime.

For probably a good 30 years there hasn’t been a December where I haven’t watched any and or all of these brilliant television specials. It’s all about Rudolph, Frosty, A Year Without a Santa, Twas the Night Before Christmas, Jack Frost and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Hell, even the ones I hate I end up watching at some point (I’m talking about you Little Drummer Boy *ack*)

Here are a few of my favorite scenes from a few of my favorite specials.

Frosty the Snowman (1969)
I love watching fat Santa give that bastard Magician the what-for. And nothings better than hearing Frosty say “Happy Birthday” one last time… was he a little Corky?

Santa Claus is Coming to Town (1970)
Gotta love Heir Burgermeister Meisterburger and his foul attitude – putting the smack down on everything from making toys to ballerinas musical toes.

A Year Without a Santa Claus (1974)
The Snow & Heat Misers? Are you kidding me? Sheer genius!
“I’m Mister White Christmas, I’m Mister Snow, I’m Mister Icicle, I’m Mister Ten Below, Friends call me Snow Miser, What ever I touch, Turns to snow in my clutch…I’m too much!”

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
And my all time favorite, Rankin/Bass’ very first television special… the one that brought us Charlie in the Box, Bastard Santa and Bumbles!!!

Oh and is anyone else shocked that Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass weren’t gay lovers? I mean come on, Hermie? That dude’s a straight up disco-dancin’, Oscar Wilde readin’, Streisand-ticket holdin’, friend of Dorothy, you know what I’m saying?

Here’s something you all should know about my family, my Dad is Clark W. Griswold. He’s the guy that goes overboard with everything, especially all things Christmas. Growing up, my Dad’s house was always an attraction because not only did it look like this haunted medieval castle, it was also lit up like a Christmas miracle the day after Thanksgiving. People would (and still do) stop on the side of the road to marvel at the Christmas explosion that is my Dad’s house. It’s hilarious how crazy the man gets with the Christmas lights. I loves it.

I saw CHRISTMAS VACATION in the theatre with my entire family back in 1989 just as I had the two films prior… The Vacation films were kind of our family obsession (only rivaled by Porky’s) so when a holiday film came out featuring the Griswold’s, there wasn’t a snowballs chance in hell we weren’t beating people down on opening night to see what was sure to be perfection.

To our amazement, I think we all fell in love with Christmas Vacation just as much, if not more, than the original film. It was two great tastes in one; the Griswold’s and Christmas!

The first clip below only features the payoff of the running joke that literally had me in tears on that first night we saw the film. Clark drives the fam out to the middle of nowhere (but doesn’t leave ‘em for dead) to pick out the perfect Griswold tree and poor Audrey (this time played by Juliette Lewis) can’t stop complaining. What’s missing is the build up (“I can’t feel my legs” etc.) but hot damn the visual and Ellen’s response to Audrey’s state almost made me throw up. To this day, it’s still one of my favorite moments ever!

This video is just wonderful as well…

“Merry Christmas, Holy Shit!”

*Stay tuned, only 4 more days left!

No Christmas would be complete without the old standards, the holidays films of yore that made your grandparents or your parents light up at Christmastime. I’m a sucker for old holiday classics, just as much as I am for the newer ones of my youth so I thought I’d share some of my faves here with you guys!

THE BELLS OF ST. MARY’S
1945 – Starring: Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman

THE MARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS
1938 – Starring: Laurel & Hardy

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE
1946 – Starring: Jimmy Stewart & Donna Reed

A CHRISTMAS CAROL
1938 – Starring: Reginald Owen

MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET
1947 – Starring: Maureen O’Hare, Natalie Wood, Edmund Gwenn

Everyone knows that I’m a serious sucker for Christmas and those of you who know me well know that few shows slayed me the way MY SO CALLED LIFE did in the late summer/early fall of 1994.

Episode 15, “So Called Angels” combined my two favorite things and added a special bonus… Juliana Hatfield with whom I was kinda obsessed with at the time as well.

The Chase family was always a very real and very flawed bunch of people but the sincerely deep love they had for each other never came across as hokey or too saccharine. This episode gets to the heart of the teenager/parent paradigm and its an incredibly raw hour of television. I seriously cry through most of the episode every time I watch it.

We’ve got ramifications from Rickie coming out (which I’d just done a year prior),Patty getting over her “gay” issues and blindly accepting Rickie in his time of need, another battle between Angela and her Mother and we’ve got Angela coming to terms with the fact that really maybe her life is amazing and she should just stop resisting the fact that she’s a good kid no matter what.

Below are two videos – the two videos that kill me the most. Please watch them in order. Just finding them online this morning and watching them made me get all teary… like I said: “I’m a total sucker”

continues here…

No seriously, tears streaming down my face right now. It’s ridiculous.

Very few people know or appreciate the hilarity of Ted Demme’s 1994 classic THE REF. While there are a 1,000 scenes I could have picked, this one sums up the film perfectly. Add this to your holiday film list and laugh at the serious dysfunction and be thankful it ain’t your heinous family.

My next favorite: “Slipper socks, Medium!” (once you see it, you’ll know what I mean)

On the 8th Day of Christmas some crazy ass Mad Scientist of Christmas past, present and future gave to me… a tale of Happy Fringemas.

Frakkin’ genius! I can’t stop watching this holiday tale of exploding heads and attacking butterlies. That Walter Bishop is one charming dude.

FRINGE returns Tuesday, January 20th on FOX

Day 9 – One of my all time favorite cheesy classic Christmas specials is A MUPPET FAMILY CHRISTMAS (1987)!

It’s incredibly funny, kinda dark and way over the top with the Henson family cameos. From the crazy amount of snow flying at the truck as the Muppets take to the country side to Fozzy singing with a snowman to the Swedish Chef trying to cook Camilla to Miss Piggy’s ridonk bitchiness to Doc and Sprocket to Bert and Ernie all the way down to Big Bird and the dancing snowmen this special is pure genius.

Hands down my favorite running gag in the special is the icy patch at the front door which every character at one point or another slips on. Apparently I’m not alone and that kicks ass.

Below is a genius video I found of all the pratfalls and I’m psyched that others out there find joy in this silly and simple sight gag. Icy Patch FTW!

Come they told me pa rum pum pum pum, I’ve always loved this version of “Little Drummer Boy” but most of all I’ve always adored the video of old man Bing Crosby and androgynous David Bowie working some holiday magic. It’s wonderful and it’s a great way to ring in the season with only 10 days until Christmas.

Total hotness.

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me, Barney being a complete douche! While chestnuts roast on an open fire, it’s possible Ted Mosby will knock Barney Stinson’s chestnuts into next year for these naughty holiday jingles…

While HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER has been uneven this year, two things always remains the same… Barney is one of the best characters on television and I never EVER get sick of watching Neil Patrick Harris – the man is a god.

It’s the holiday season with the whoop-de-do and hickory dock and that can mean only one thing! The amazing editors at SUPERNATURAL decided to give fans a special holiday treat and that my friends kicks off my 12 Days of Christmas.

While it’s no “A Very Supernatural Christmas” it’s still something to make you look forward to after the holidays are over. Here is a sneak preview at the next 3 episodes of Supernatural.

Episode descriptions from that little Xmas treat are after the jump. Be warned, mild spoilers ahead… (more…)