Tonight ABC pulls out their big comedy (and dramedy) guns with the premieres of MODERN FAMILY, COUGAR TOWN and EASTWICK.

MODERN FAMILY is my favorite comedy of the new fall season (well, aside from GLEE). It features an ensemble cast of seasoned TV actors and some of the sharpest, gut busting dialogue I’ve witnessed in a long time. I’ve watched the pilot 4x already and find new subtleties with each viewing. Not only is it laugh out loud funny, there’s one particular moment toward the end of the episode that is spit-take worthy.

FAMILY will hopefully catapult Ty Burrell to the greatness he’s been deserved of for years now. There are moments in tonight’s episode that make me love that man more than I already did. From being the best worst Dad to his knowledge of a certain “Go Wildcats” moment to his inability to understand Spanglish… Ty Burrell will have you in stitches. The other big breakout performance is that of Eric Stonestreet who plays the drama queen Cameron. FUCKING GENIUS!

Please trust me and tune in to tonight’s MODERN FAMILY premiere at 9pm… it’s cramazing!

At 9:30pm, ABC premieres the long awaited return of Courtney Cox to primetime television with COUGAR TOWN. While COUGAR TOWN is not on par with MODERN FAMILY, it has a lot of laughs and has plenty of promise.

Courtney Cox plays a 40-something divorcee with a failing real estate business and an even worse love life. Christa Miller (Scrubs) plays her married, bitter, next door neighbor married to Ian Gomez (Felicity). It’s stale, its predictable and their relationship is hilarious. On her other shoulder is the devil that be Busy Phillips (Freaks & Geeks), her younger co-worker that encourages the worst behavior imaginable. Then there’s her innocent and adorkable son Travis played by the amazing Andy Byrd (Aliens in America) and her hottie neighbor Josh Hopkins.

COUGAR TOWN is well worth checking out. It has a great cast with some okay writing that I hope quickly rises to the level of the actors, making this must see TV.

At 10pm is the premiere of EASTWICK, a retelling of John Updike’s novel THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK starring Rebecca Romijn as Roxanne, Jaime Ray Newman as Kat, Lindsay Price as Joanna and Paul Gross as Daryl Van Horne. The real treat are recurring actors Sara Rue (Popular, Less Than Perfect) and the smokin’ hot and shirtless in the pilot Matt Dallas (Kyle XY).

If you’re thinking that they already did this once before, you’d be correct. In 1992, I watched the short-lived TV remake starring Catherine Mary Stewart from the crazy great 80s horror film NIGHT OF THE COMET! It wasn’t so good.

This remake is better and shows some promise (sorry that’s not the most ringing endorsement). The pilot is a pilot… it’s a little clunky, has some exposition issues and some forced situations and some awkward chemistry. The good thing is that there’s humor, some sex, some charm and something endearing about this new EASTWICK that will at least have me watching for a couple weeks.

EASTWICK is a retelling so some of the character names have been changed, some jobs have been changed and obviously Paul Gross is no Jack Nicholson… That’s okay though. I like that ABC is taking the premise and running with it. I’ve been told by an EASTWICK insider that the show really finds its footing in the subsequent episodes and that people will really grow to love Paul Gross as van Horne. I’ve seen some of the new footage and I will testify that Gross was more charming and charismatic than I originally gave him credit for. Stick with EASTWICK for a couple weeks and together we’ll see if it makes the Fall lineup or not on a more permanent basis.

EASTWICK premieres tonight at 10pm on ABC.

The new Fall TV season is less than a week away and while I’ve been busy trying to watch all the new pilots I have to say that I’m not super excited about the new crop of shows. Bummer huh?

Want to know when everything premieres? Check out our Fall TV 2009 Premiere Date list!

My podcasting partner in crime GMMR and I have been trying to schedule time to talk Fall TV and we hope to have all of the network podcasts up in the next week so hold tight. We’ve posted our thoughts on the new shows for The CW so please listen to that podcast to see what we love and/or hate.

In the meantime here are the shows I plan on watching this Fall. Shows in BLUE are what I plan on watching LIVE or DVR’d. Shows in PINK are ones that I will have to catch online or via iTunes.

MONDAY (click to enlarge)

Monday’s have traditionally been a pretty busy night of TV viewing for me. However, this year it’s looking pretty open.

I’m annoyed that the power hour that started my night of television last year has been split up because BIG BANG THEORY and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER was a partnership made in heaven. I’ll be interested to see what happens to BBT at such a late hour (and I hope to remember its on that late) and if I feel like the vibe is the same without it’s partner.

Another year, another chance to officially drop HEROES. Last year I decided to watch then within 5 episodes I dropped that lame duck for the 2nd time in 3 seasons. Going into Season 4, I’ve vowed to not even give it a single frame of consideration. Will. Not. Watch!

After a brief vacation from the kids on the Upper East Side, a summer marathon has renewed my love for all things GOSSIP GIRL. That doesn’t mean I won’t get annoyed with the repetitive storylines and the lame quick-wrap secondary storylines - it just means I’m excited for the show to return and kick some ass! Let’s not fuck it up Savage & Schwartz.

If you’re interested in ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE starring Jenna Elfman, Ashley Jensen and Grant Show you should watch. It’s a very traditional sitcom and paired with TWO AND A HALF MEN, I think it’s going to be a huge hit. I just don’t see myself watching it week to week. The pilot is cute, Elfman is adorable and the premise is fun. Mark my words, this is one of the biggest new shows in 09.

TUESDAY (click to enlarge)

Believe it or not, I’m only watching two shows on Tuesday’s but hell if that isn’t four frakkin’ hours of television.

I’m a total sucker for the weight loss and emotional meltdowns of THE BIGGEST LOSER so there’s no chance I’m not watching Bob and Jillian bust some fatties once again. Love that damn show.

Obviously you know I’m a huge SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE junkie so that’s a no brainer - or is it? I’ve been very vocal about how I don’t love the idea of bringing SYTYCD to the Fall. I love having it as my summer obsession because I have less shows to watch in the summertime which means more time for a Paso Doble or two. Pushing it on us in the middle of the onslaught of new and returning shows seems cruel and I hate that it’s going to take up two hours of my Fall TV schedule. There… I’ve said it.

I’m not gonna lie - from time to time I will probably watch The CW’s reboot of MELROSE PLACE. I actually enjoyed the pilot episode. It’s 100% better than I expected it to be and surely my partner Jon will want to pop in and out of that salacious complex.

*If you’re wondering about BETTER OFF TED, don’t worry its coming back after DwtS ends (which isn’t soon enough)!

**ABC’s reboot of V starts November 3rd at 8pm (shitty time slot for a show that is not suited for 8pm) and I’m super excited. I loved the original as a kid and I really enjoyed the pilot for the remake. Plus, it’s got Elizabeth Mitchell, Alan Tudyk and Scott Wolf!

WEDNESDAY (click to enlarge)

Wednesday night is really the only night I’m giving new shows a chance at making it into my live/dvr rotation.

SYTYCD has it’s results show at 8pm and that’s followed by GLEE (which we all know I flippin’ heart). It’s a great one-two punch and I’m really looking forward to Wednesday’s - thanks FOX!

Over on ABC, my favorite new comedy, MODERN FAMILY gets paired up with the pretty good COUGAR TOWN. Trust me when I tell you to tune in to MODERN FAMILY. The pilot has laugh out loud funny jokes throughout and one of the best, THE BEST, things I’ve ever seen in the final few minutes. COUGAR TOWN is fun, a little dirty and honestly who doesn’t love having Courtney Cox, Busy Phillips and Josh Hopkins back on their screens?

EASTWICK is not as bad as you think it might be. The hour grew on me as it progressed and I’m willing to give it a couple weeks which is more than I can say for many of the new shows this Fall.

More Fall 2009 shows after the jump… (more…)

ABC announced their Fall 2009 TV Lineup this morning and they’ve got a pretty strong slate for this coming season. While I’m still floored people watch Dancing with the Stars and The Bachelor, I’m even more amazed that Nathan Fillion’s CASTLE made it another season. I’m super excited to see BETTER OFF TED get some more love and can’t wait for newbies like COUGAR TOWN, EASTWICK and FLASH FORWARD! My question is: Where’s the remake of V? Is that pushed to midseason?

ABC Fall 2009 Lineup:
MONDAY
8:00 p.m. DANCING WITH THE STARS (two-hours)
*Midseason: THE BACHELOR 8 p.m.
10:00 p.m. CASTLE

TUESDAY
8:00 p.m. SHARK TANK
9:00 p.m. DANCING WITH THE STARS RESULTS SHOW
*Midseason: SCRUBS 9 p.m.
*Midseason: BETTER OFF TED 9:30 p.m.
10:00 p.m. THE FORGOTTEN

WEDNESDAY
8:00 p.m. HANK
8:30 p.m. THE MIDDLE
9:00 p.m. MODERN FAMILY
9:30 p.m. COUGAR TOWN
10:00 p.m. EASTWICK

THURSDAY
8:00 p.m. FLASH FORWARD
9:00 p.m. GREY’S ANATOMY
10:00 p.m. PRIVATE PRACTICE

FRIDAY
8:00 p.m. SUPERNANNY
9:00 p.m. UGLY BETTY
10:00 p.m. 20/20

SUNDAY
7:00 p.m. AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS
8:00 p.m. EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION
9:00 p.m. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
10:00 p.m. BROTHERS & SISTERS

Don’t forget that come midseason we’ve got Better Off Ted and Scrubs (yes, Scrubs) returning along with the final season of the always mid-frakkin’ LOST! I’m assuming HAPPY TOWN and V will debut in the winter 2010 but who knows… I cannot wait for the lizard goodness!