My American Idol 2007 Sanjaya Malakar will read David Letterman’s Top 10 List on Monday, April 23rd! I’m still holding out for Sanjaya to head on over to Howard Stern, it better happen.
Did Fox have a hand in removing Sanjaya from American Idol for the sake of the nation? Did the Virginia Tech shooting tragedy create the perfect smoke screen to eliminate Sanjaya without too much backlash? Are the mourning too preoccupied to notice that there is no way in hell Sanjaya didn’t have enough votes to continue?
Mangina, Sangina, Sanjaya’s Sister’s Brother Sanjaya is gone!
How did it happen? Why did it happen? Is there complete and utter chaos in the world tonight? Did planets collide? Did Monkey’s fly out of someone’s butt? Is Hell Frozen Over? Did Mel kiss Flo’s grits?
The worst of the worst has happened America, Sanjaya Malakar has been eliminated from American Idol. I’m actually in complete shock. I thought for sure that we, the lovers and supporters of the misguided youth known as Sanjaya would live to see another day of dialing his numbers. 1-866-IDOL-SANJAYA!
He brought us joy, laughter, pain, sorrow and even tears (if you’re a 13 year old unstable blonde girl). He may be the most loved and hated Idol contestant ever and seriously, this competition will not be the same without him. No contestant has ever made the judges stop doing their job. No other contestant has been as daring with their hairstyles nor as ambigious with their sexuality. He may only be 17, but he will forever be My Sanjaya!
American Idol does Country music and while it wasn’t as bad as Latin night, it still sucked. Can they not eliminate the theme nights? It’s ridonkulous trying to make Lakisha Jones sing Jesus Take The Wheel or expecting Blake Lewis to pull off some Garth Brooks or Hank Williams. It’s retarded.
What’s also retarded is that Sanjaya tried to pull off a real song. Lil Jenn sent me a text message during the show that said: “Bonnie Raitt just smashed her TV” and I agree. It was hideous and not in the fun GO SANJAYA way.
This is the second week in a row where Sanjaya hasn’t lived up to my expectations. Last week I would have killed to see Sanjaya pull out some Ricky Martin but he let me down. This week, I was praying he’d do some Gretchen Wilson “Red Neck Woman” or something more ridiculous like “Achy Braky Heart.”
Instead he tried to actually sing the song. While it was still hideous, it just wasn’t a fun loving, jovial, laugh out loud funny kind of bad like it usually is. I find that maddening!
I did however get the biggest laugh of my week watching the Judges critique Sanjaya. Simon’s appauling comment that led to the numerous shots of Debbie Allen laughing her ass off uncontrollably was amazing! You could even hear her howling a couple times. Loved it! Worth watching this whole hideous episode.
J. Lo said it best, “I love Sanjaya!” How funny was it to see Sanjaya/Marc Anthony with that curly greasy hair and barely there facial hair? I couldn’t even look at my screen while he was performing because it was too funny to see. And when Jennifer Lopez was listening to Sanjaya sing, she couldn’t help herself and just kept chanting that she loved Sanjaya. Hysterical!
Jenny from the block was a really good mentor, don’t you think? She honestly seemed like she watched the show and she knew all about each of the kids. It was so great when Slutty Scarnato couldn’t find the beat (maybe it was wedged up those hotpants) and J.Lo called Blake in to drop some beats! She loves Blake, but really who doesn’t?
Overall I’d have to say that Latin music should be left to those that make a living singing Latin music. Almost every single contestant sucked last night. Since when is Gloria Estefan the biggest Latin star ever?
Three of the Four girls sang an Estefan song. My favorite being Slutty Scarnato doing the most un-Latin disco song “Turn The Beat Around.” Apparently if a Latin star covers any song, it’s a bonafide Latin song. If Ricky Martin did a rap song by G-Unit, it would have been eligible for last nights performances.
Speaking of Ricky Martin, was anyone else hoping and praying that Sanjaya was going to come out swinging “Living La Vida Loca?” How craptacular would that have been? In fact, I was so convinced that he was going to pull out some Ricky that I vowed early on in the show that if he didn’t, I wouldn’t vote for him. So guess what? For the first time, I didn’t vote Sanjaya.
If he goes home tonight, I will shed a tear of shame.
The Best? Blake, Jordin, and hate to say it… The Alien.
Going Home? With luck, Slutty Scarnato. If not her, then I fear it might be Melinda’s time to go – she’s just too old sounding for audiences to relate to. I pray I’m wrong.
Before i go, I knew all you straight boys out there were loving that Sanjaya’s Sister was back! It was a big thing online that for the last two weeks she had been MIA from Idol. You boys love you some Sanjaya’s Sister!
Oh, and lastly – how amazing was it that Simon called Scarnato out for wearing the littlest clothing possible? Genius. I felt a little bad for her, but come on. Her outfits are ridiculous and she can claim up and down that its not her strategy but she’d be a big ass liar.
American Idol sent another one packing last night and it wasn’t Sanjaya Malakar or Skanknato!
Okay, so I have to say that I kinda feel guilty for Gina Glocksen going home. Not completely mind you, because I did vote for her for the last three weeks. It just so happens that I also voted for Sanjaya The Magnificant every time as well.
Gina didn’t deserve to go. Period. With a talentless slutty ho like Scarnato standing next to you, you always expect her to go down… get it, she’s slutty… going “down”…
Fine…
What annoys me about Idol and these kids and this damn Tour is that people like Gina can’t be honest and when Seacrest asks her how she feels, she can’t look at the camera and say: “I think it’s crap that I’m going home when talentless twits like Scarnato and Mangina Malakar are still here!”
Alas, this is not what Idol is about. Idol needs to toughen up. Idol needs to work like Top Chef or Survivor where people are not afraid to backstab each other and tell the god’s honest truth!
It would be much more enjoyable, don’t you think?
Oh and did I call it or what with my last post? Tony Bennett is so on death’s door. Was anyone surprised when Seacrest said Tony B. came down with the flu and couldn’t perform? He’s probably laid up in a hyperbolic chamber being fed placenta through an IV to regain his strength and youthfulness. Buble was not a call away, I can tell you that. There was never any intention of Tony singing last night. Mark My Words!
American Idol last night was out of control. Sanjaya Malakar actually said that he was going to show us all he can actually sing then pulled off his same lame Jackson Family whisper of a performance. To top it off, he was dressed for the disco, he serenaded another tweener (at least this one wasn’t crying or hopped up on anti-depressants like that last child-wait am I getting her confused with Paula?), and took the forever your unstable girl Paula for a twirl! It’s amazing I don’t do drugs because I swear I’m hallucinating his level of confidence and the cajones on this kid.
The hair, the suit, the dancing, the singing to prove a point… Seriously I don’t think I stopped laughing until they went to a commercial break. There has never, EVER, been a contestant like Sanjaya. Sure William Hung (god what an atrocity) had a glimmer of humor but he didn’t make it anywhere near as far as our man SJ has. That’s what I’m calling him, those of us in the “know” – SJ.
He is the best WORST contestant ever! If he’s not in on this joke, I swear I’m going to hell for voting for him and wanting to keep the dream alive (you know, my dream of laughing every week at his unbelievably morphing hair and lame duck performance).
I don’t know how much I was feeling last nights performances overall. I think that Tony Bennett might have another 2 years in him because he went from being this really energetic and healthy looking fuller faced guy to being this withered gaunt brittle old man in the matter of no time. Never a good sign. Regardless, its Tony Bennett and the man rules.
Blake’s version of “Mack The Knife” was dead-on. I thought it was perfect for his voice and his style. I have a question though… why is he not showing any more of that ass? I loved the first couple weeks when he was just out there in his funky pants sporting a t-shirt and his cute little bubble butt but now nothing! Doesn’t he know that showing that ass a little will get him more votes? Take a cue from that slutbag Scarnato. That’s her whole strategy.
And can we discuss Scarnato for a second? I really don’t want to give her the honor of my blog time but she’s so pointless. She’s not that pretty folks. She’s got a big mole on her face, she’s sporting Kat McPhee’s hair, and last night her breasts were like two sagging flank steaks in a lettuce wrap. That dress was hid-to-the-eous. So ill fitting, it gave her a huge waist, a big behind, and did nothing for those boobs.
I’m just going free association now and sticking with boobs. Could they put Lakisha and Melinda into dresses that accentuate their bossom more? Seriously it was like shelves sitting atop their bodies. I know their both bigger girls but sweet jesus!
Did Lakisha’s calculated head movements and camera gaze not kill you? I was rolling at how ridiculous it was. Regardless, she can sing y’all! And what I love about Lakisha is how excited she gets by all of it. It endears me to her even though I love Melinda’s voice more. Doolittle is just phenomenal up there on that stage. When she performs it really is a different caliber of contestant, she is a professional, she is a seasoned vet and to be honest, she’s got the best ability of anyone that’s been on the show ever. Too bad she’s got that no-neck issue and the inability to let it out after a performance and say “I kicked ass!”
I refuse to discuss the alien with a sweaty head problem and a crappy lower register. I just won’t.
Jordin Sparks once again proved she deserves to be in the competition. Chris Richardson did his best Blake impression last night with his outfit and moves in the beginning on his song. I like Chris, I don’t know why but there is something just so darn sweet about him and I want him to do so well even though I think he’s got some confidence issues.
Am I missing anyone? I can’t recall them all. I think my favorite part about Idol this season is that the judges and the show have completely given up on Sanjaya. Even Randy last night couldn’t (and wouldn’t) comment on Sanjaya’s singing. Simon tried to take a different approach and praise the deludinoid. Seacrest refers to him as a legend and the crowd goes ape shit for him. It’s quite brilliant!
Before I sign off, I really just wanted to get to the part where I say that while I was in Vancouver this past weekend I got to watch Blake’s almost look-a-like, My BF Travis Wall on reruns of So You Think You Can Dance! MuchMusic is airing last season right now. So odd, but damnit wasn’t that the best surprise?
Our Top 10 American Idol’s performed again tonight and as usual Sanjaya Malakar sucked it royally! Sucked it so hard that it was good… good and ugly, good and bad, good and vote for the worst worthy once again. It couldn’t be more apparent that he really is just now trying to do whatever it takes to get voted off this freakshow. Which of course, makes us all want him on the show even more. I mean, who on earth could have expected him to come out tonight with a Ponyhawk of 7? Genius… this kid is money!
To vote for the worst, Sanjaya Malakar go ahead and dial 1-866-IDOLS-04
Onto the show. Someone how a singing competition thought it would be a good idea to have Gwen Stefani on. Sure she’s a great entertainer and pop icon but would anyone really say she’s a vocal dynamo? Her charm was always the unruly warble and canine heard only pitch she’s got going for her, none of which classify her as a great vocalist that should be giving singing hopefuls advice.
Many of you know my dislike of Gwen Stefani post Return of Saturn (minus the amazing cover of “It’s My Life”) so it should come to no surprise I said what I said. This however may surprise some… I actually thought she was really good on the show. She was articulate, thoughtful, and gave good comments and advice. She was in no way as involved or invested as LuLu was but she at least took the time to listen and give feedback on each kid. Plus, she didn’t look like a glam-whore and there was no sign of her Hirajuku slaves.
So I know noone really wants to relive the singing, but damnit its worth watching this video over and over because we get to see this completely unstable tweener cry her eyes out over and over!
Oh yeah, and there are glimpses of Sanjaya’s sister in there so you straight boys will enjoy that!
SANJAYA MALAKAR, Welcome To The American Idol Tour!
Somehow, someway we did it America, we got Sanjaya into the Idol tour, guaranteeing his imperfect and damn near unlistenable voice will torment tens of thousands across the nation all summer long!’
I’m not gonna lie though, I damn near had a heart attack when I realized that Chris Richardson was in the bottom two. Oh hell no! Do you realize that I had the biggest moment of panic. The OH GOD WHAT DID WE DO moment passed over me, I felt faint, and my knees buckled a little. Okay, so maybe they buckled at the size of his biceps but damn, I got the vapors.
Not that I think Stephanie Edwards deserved to go home, because this is a singing competition but if America voted on outfits, she really was the worst! That blue gown was not a winning look so I can’t really blame America for sending her home.
I feel calmer now. I’m not kidding when I tell you that I was panic’d realizing we may have ruined cutie patootie’s chances.
*Update: Well, dialidol.com is reporting that Haley Scarnato might finally be going home. Also at risk is “rocker” Gina Glocksen. Our man Sanjaya is in 5th place according to their predictions.
First things first, Sanjaya Malakar’s numbers are 1-866-IDOLS-08 and you have to atleast vote for him once. That’s all I can bring myself to vote for him tonight because seriously so many of the other contestants stepped up their game and killed it tonight that I am worried for some of them if we all go nuts with Sanjaya. But you have to atleast vote for Sanjaya once to at least let him kick Phil Stacey’s bald mutant ass.
Second, can we talk about the genius little crying girl in the audience. I swear 19 Entertainment broke the bank hiring this actress to cry in the audience for her “Idols.” Unbelievable!
Her crying during Sanjaya’s performance was hysterical and I kinda felt bad for her because seriously, its not like she was crying while someone performed on America’s Got Talent where like 10 people will see her, this is American Idol where 30+ million people will see her snot filled face. Oh, the kids at school tomorrow are gonna ruin this girl! If the Producers are smart, they’ll give this girl season passes and let her bawl her eyes out every week. Then we got her snivelling mess during Doolittle… Genius.
Tonight was 60’s British Invasion and our guests were Lulu and Peter Noone. Lulu should be on every season. She was amazing with these contestants. Unlike Diana Ross and many others before her, Lulu was a fan of the show and seriously wanted to help these kids out. She worked multiple songs with them and hunted them down afterward to convince them to sing other songs, she worked for her money! I love me some Lulu! All my years watching AbFab paid off because I knew who the hell she was. Peter Noone was fine, a little too drunken red faced for my taste but not too bad as a guest mentor. He’s no Lulu though. She’s on par with Barry Manilow! Love me some Barry.
It’s Tuesday and that means that tonight American Idol’s Top 11 perform and its yet another chance to get Sanjaya Malakar into the Top 10! Last week I reported that I’m fully in support of VoteForTheWorst and Howard Stern’s movement to get Sanjaya all the way to the top and I’m sticking to it!
This morning Howard Stern started the show with his weekly plea to get fans to vote for Sanjaya. Eric the Midget called in complaining for the 1000th time since last Wednesday when Sanjaya made it through again. Then Dave, the founder of VoteForTheWorst came in for an interview!
It was a pretty entertaining interview and damn that’s huge exposure for VFTW and Sanjaya. This is the week to vote for Sanjaya so that we can guarantee he ends up on the Idol Tour. How amazing would that be folks? Thousands of people booing him weekly, he’ll quit the tour before its over.
Howard said that a person who works for “Idol” wrote in and said that the Producers always have veto power on who moves on and/or who wins. Apparently its in the credits that the Producers can stop the vote at any time, essentially putting an end to Sanjaya’s rise to demise.
Seriously, its like who shot JFK with the conspiracy theories.
I love that various media outlets are making this a “news” story and that some other outlets (TMZ) are reporting that the mockery is starting to get to our beautifully coiffed friend.
Briefly I’d like to let Dave know that he was a real champ on Stern this morning because after the whole Sanjaya thing ended it was the Gay Inquisition. He kept up his humor and didn’t wuss out which is what makes Howard keep talking to you and promoting you. He was great.
Dave did make a bold statement though. If Sanjaya sticks around for another week and makes it into the Top 10, he will give his boyfriend of 3 months Anal for the first time! Hysterical.
Tonight let’s hope that Sanjaya sings his heart out, Paula cries, and then tomorrow night Scarnato goes home! Check back tonight when I’ll post the numbers to call!
American Idol has already kicked out the first of the Top 12 but I’m just getting around to talking about the performances so bear with me. First, I’d like to thank my friend Pete for sending about 20 emails and comments wondering where the hell my recap was. I was swamped with personal and work stuff and didn’t have a free moment until about 2 hours ago, so I’m on it Pete. Settle…
Hands down the biggest winners of the night were my girl No Neck Doolittle, my girl Lakisha Jones, and without a doubt my girl Sanjaya Malakar!
I don’t know about you but Sanjaya making it week to week is so much more entertaining than the fake homophobic remarks between Simon and Ryan, Paula’s increasingly and surprisingly stable self, and Randy’s repeated nothingness Dawg!
It’s a mockery that he’s still in the running to become our next American Idol and unlike my reluctancy in the past to get behind these campaigns to keep the worst, this is one I think I might be able to fully support. Scott Savol, I just couldn’t do it. Kevin Covais, I was on board until I got a hard on for Chris Daughtry then I had to bail. But, Season 6 – I’m all about it for some reason. Are you?
In general the performances were just okay (dawg)… (more…)
Seriously, I laughed so frakkin’ hard at the end of Idol just now. I froze the screen on Brandon hugging Sanjaya and the look on his face was amazing. It was totally “I’ve toured with superstars like Xtina and I’m going home before this mop-top with no talent?” Genius moment. Guess ya won’t forget the words next time there Einstein.
I usually get very frustrated by the whole vote for the worst thing but I think for another week or two that I can support it because its bringing me such joy! I love it. I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in days!
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