Hey gang, in preparation for moving I’ve been cleaning out my closet of TV goodies and realized that it’s time to give back to all of you awesome Ducky Does TV readers! This is the biggest giveaway we’ve done and one of you is walking away with a ton of TV fanatic swag! That’s right, you walk away with ALL of it!
So what’s the catch? Well, seeing how you’re winning some priceless TV swag, box sets, music, etc. I’m limiting the contest to the first 25 people who are willing pay the shipping on this prize pack! It’s heavy, I do this blog for free and really, you’re making out like a bandit so shipping costs are not much to ask for…
How To Enter: Leave a comment telling me what you’re favorite TV show of all time is and why. One lucky winner will be chosen at random from the first 25 people to comment. Do not leave a comment unless you have a paypal account and are willing to pay for shipping!
What Do You Win:Click here to see a full version of everything pictured above. If you can’t tell whats-what, here’s a list of what you’ll be winning!
PUSHING DAISIES/CHUCK Comic-Con 2008 WB Collectors Bag SUPERNATURAL Signed Posters (2 signed by Kripke, Jensen & Jared) HEROES Season 1 DVD Box Set KYLE XY Season 1 DVD Box Set THE HILLS Season 1 DVD Box Set THE X-FILES Essential Episodes DVD Set VERONICA MARS Soundtrack VERONICA MARS “Get a Clue” Bumper Sticker PRIVILEGED Novel by Zoey Dean SUPERNATURAL Bone Key Novel by Keith R.A. DeCandido FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS Kyle Chandler “Can’t Lose” Pin KINGS Wings Pin HEROES Pinehearst Logo Pin PUSHING DAISIES “Jews For Cheeses” TShirt MY BOYS “Crowley’s Crew Essentials” (T-shirt, Bottle Opener, Cards, Keychain, Dating Tips Book, Breath mints, Pick Up Lines Notebook) ROYAL PAINS Hamptons Beach Bag (Heavy Duty Beach Bag, Medical Kit, Travel Scrabble, Hamptons Encyclopedia, Pains Prescription Notepad, Pains Pill Bottle of Mints)
Closer Look: Comic-Con Bag/Posters
Closer Look: TV Buttons
That’s a frakkin’ ton of TV Swag! Contest runs until 25 people willing to paypal me the shipping cost have entered. Have at it TV Freaks!
Here’s a quick sneaky peek at Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag aka Speidi guest starring on the next episode of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. If you think those two attention whores are the only two guest stars this week you’d be wrong because Kim Kardashian and slutty Kendra Wilkinson also pop into Marshall’s fantasy world.
Episode Summary:
“Benefits” – When Ted and Robin become “friends with benefits” to deal with conflicts they’re having around the apartment, Barney tries to resolve the issues so they’ll stop hooking up. Meanwhile, “reality” stars get too real for Marshall when they taunt him from the pages of his magazine.
I know I haven’t blogged much lately and realize that it’s kind of insulting to come back with a post about THE HILLS but I can’t help it. I heart this show so much, you have no idea. I’m talking rainbows and kittens of joy when a new episode comes on.
Speidi are complete caricatures of real life humans trying to be famous and it makes me laugh hysterically every week at how evil and arrogant Spencer can be. It’s brilliant honestly. He’s a liar and manipulator and must have a cock that shoots not only pearl necklaces but gold coins because he’s got Heidi completely brainwashed and god knows he’s not a looker so there has to be something keeping her around (other than the restraints).
How he handles his sister’s friendship with Lauren is nothing short of 2nd grade pig-tail pulling; he’s such a child about it all and it slays me. I mean, how many people would tell their own sibling that they’re dead to them if they continue talking with Lauren Conrad? The girl that is giving all of them fame and moderate fortune. He must be the best actor on television because I find it impossible to believe he’s this cold and heartless. If he is, I tip my hat to him because I could only wish to have a little of his ruthlessness in me.
Raise your hand if you think She-Pratt (Stephanie) is on the verge on a mental breakdown? It got dag nasty up in Vegas this week and for the first time, I thought I saw a glimmer of psychotic Emily Valentine I’ll burn your house down, Britney shaves her head bat-shit crazy in Steph’s eyes. Watch your asses girls, she’ll kill you all!
LC is the least entertaining person on the show, don’t you think? Obviously she’s the reason there is a show but when you’ve got Spencer telling Heidi’s older (and fuglier) sister that they want her to move out (behind Heidi’s back) you can’t compete. Does your fake relationship with Doug or your continued moon pie facing of Brody make for good TV? Sure, but does it make for amazing laugh out loud TV? Hardly. Spencer delivers the goods, take a cue and cut someone sometime!
My favorite from Day 1 has always been Whitney. I used to think she was a plant; that MTV planted her in Lauren’s life as her fellow intern at Teen Vogue to just get the exposition out of the way. She was so good at drawing the important and juicy information out of Lauren that I thought there was no way she was for real.
Now, 4 seasons later I think she’s a genuine friend but I still question whether that was organic or not. Who cares in the long run though because she’s the only sane and level headed one out there. I feared her going to work for that psycho Kelly Cutrone but all seems well in crazy town and she’s slowly moving up the ladder. Go Whitney! Now get your ass back to NYC and get some of that hot model boy action.
My other favorite is Lo. I’ve loved Lo since the early Laguna days. She was always very blunt but very fun. She’s the real best friend in this situation and I remember thinking “where the frak is Lo” when The Hills originally premiered. Sure she was off to college doing her own thing but that didn’t mean I didn’t miss her sass. When she came on as a full time fixture last season, it made my year. Sure she can be very matter of fact about things but that’s why I love her. People called her a bitch for the way she treated Audrina, I call her one of the only true folks on the show. In real life people don’t click and just because your friend is all chummy chums doesn’t mean you need to be. Lo don’t play and her bitchiness is what endears her to me.
I beg weekly for Audrina to leave the show. I hate the girl. She useless, dumb as a box of rocks and an opportunist. And Justin Bobby? Just because you cut your hair, it doesn’t mean you’re not a smelly skank monster. This season better be the last for Audrina Patridge because I don’t know how much more of her laxidasical blank stare I can handle.
Wow, why am I writing about The Hills? I have to go and take a shower after that.
Whitney Port has always been my favorite person on MTV’s docudrama THE HILLS. She’s the sound voice of reason in a world of utter complete retarded chaos and I heart her. I knew she was destined for more than Lauren’s sidekick and falling down a set of stairs during a fashion show. She’s grand and finally MTV took note.
A source tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now) that MTV is prepping a show in which Whitney Port, 23, becomes bicoastal while working for fashion PR firm People’s Revolution — and befriends a group of NYC gals (including socialite Olivia Palermo).
Says the insider: “There will be more blondes in the city than you ever expected!”
Okay, for those of you who don’t know… People’s Revolution is run by a fucking psycho named Kelly Cutrone who is lightning personified. She’s crazy and I love her. She will completely ruin poor Whitney but I’m on board because anything this woman does is sheer genius (on screen and off). Last weekend, a co-worker of Jon’s ran into her in NYC and Kelly walked up to her and was like “Yes, you’ve seen me on The Hills” and stormed off. What a c*nt, I love it!
Tonight there is so much television to watch, I think I might explode. Here’s what I’m excited about on the tube tonight.
8pm – GOSSIP GIRL – I cannot wait to see the fallout from Ashergate for Little J and seriously, will alien face Serena return to whack again?
8pm – AMERICAN GLADIATORS – Hells yes, it returns tonight with Evan and Monica as new gladiators. Sweet!
8-9pm: CBS’s BIG BANG THEORY and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER hour! Wait, shit I already have listed 2 things at 8. Well this is rid-god-damn-diculous. Britney’s back and she’s not that innocent (she is after all dating Barney).
8pm: GREEK. Wait a frakkin’ minute here. 4 shows on at the same time? For reals? Tonight Dept. Leo makes a play for Calvin. Ah, Max Greenfield…
Look, then at 9pm all I have is the 2nd hour of Gladiator. Honestly, a network couldn’t spread the love out amongst the hours? Seriously?
Then at 10pm it’s the finale of THE HILLS followed by my new favorite show THE PAPER! Those kids are crazy evil and I loves it.
I love me some THE HILLS and I won’t lie, I love me some Speidi drama but there is no reason for Heidi Montag to have any kind of music career. This video is so boring, childish, and beyond home video that my 3 year old niece could have done a better job… and she’s blind without thumbs (okay she’s so not but you get the picture).
Watch the hideous new video from Heidi Montag entitled “Higher”
Are Guilty Pleasures really that guilty? Sure every TV lover/blogger out there has a red headed bastard stepchild of a show on their DVR that they don’t talk about but is probably one of their favorite shows to watch week after week. I for the most part, freely wave my guilty pleasure flag high and proud so some of my picks for 2007 should come as no surprise.
While ideally some of these shows could easily be in my Favorite TV Shows of 2007, I would feel guilty giving some other shows their due, so these shows got pushed to the Guilty Pleasures list.
Ducky’s Favorite Guilty Pleasures of 2007
Gossip Girl This is one that could almost make my Top 10 of 2007 but when I sit right down and think of it, I love the show for its cheesy elements and not because its moving, breath taking television. Blair is one of my favorite television characters of the last 5 years and she makes the show worth watching each and every week. I heart Gossip Girl (no one question that) and it’s glam-bam-thank-you-ma’am approach to teen melodrama. Long live these Upper East Siders.
The Hills I could kiss Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt for making my Monday night’s a delicious overdose of hell in a Prada handbag. The minute the theme song kicks in every week I’m delighted to be watching television. Whitney’s wise friendship, Lo’s catchphrases, Elodie screwing Heidi over, and Justin Bobby. The bitching, the fighting, the partying, and the drama (so much drama) makes The Hills a huge improvement over it’s predecessor Laguna Beach. As a bonus, this show has the best After Show in the history of television.
Kyle XY I know, I know… this is another legit show. But really, it’s an ABC Family show so it’s yet to officially become legit. It has some cheesy production values, and is at times so saccharine it could choke a horse but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my bellybutton-less friend and those darn Tragers. The show has really tried to become more adult this season and the ongoing storylines about the origins of Kyle and Jessi are pretty good. They’ve even managed to incorporate some gayness to the show (and no I’m not talking about Matt Dallas) with the introduction of Andi and her yet unseen lesbian Moms. Can’t wait for it’s return in 2008.
Flavor of Love Girls’ Charm School I grew to love these wretched skankbags that Mo’nique tried her damndest to class up. I never watched Flavor of Love so each of these characters were semi-new to me. Sure I’d seen some of the debauchery on The Soup but I got to know and appreciate each of these worthless human beings through Charm School. The scheming, the backstabbing, and a little growth actually put this show on a higher level than it’s brother and sister shows. Here’s to hoping for more Charm School in 2008.
America’s Most Smartest Model This is the reality show that should have failed miserably yet succeeded in surpassing every expectation I had for it. It took the best and worst of reality shows and made modelling and academia sexy again. Andre was hands down one of the best reality personalities of 2007 and to be frank, Mary Alice is the sexiest bitch on television.
It’s Sunday night and I’ve just returned from a crazy weekend. I had a business meeting (I know, fancy) in NYC yesterday that was simply amazing, I did a little roaming around and then I was back home. So that’s from Boston to NYC and back in a 18 hour span. That’s a lot of driving for one day and I was tuckered.
I have to quick tell you that after our meeting yesterday we went for lunch at Bar Martingnetti on Broome Street and I had quite the encounter with a celebrity chef. I had to go to the bathroom so I headed to the back of the restaurant where there are 3 bathroom doors. A woman had just gone into the only open one and there was a really tall man in front of me pacing. The pacing back and forth got more frantic as the seconds ticked on. He finally started almost doing the peepee dance when he turned toward me. It was Todd English. I smirked because it was hysterical watching Todd English almost piss himself. Then it got worse and he had to start grabbing himself in the crotch, like a 4 year old panicked that he might have an accident. It took everything I had to not laugh in his face.
Finally, a door opens and he rushes in. A good 45 seconds later I hear the toilet flush and the door open instantly. TODD ENGLISH didn’t wash his hands. SICKA! So gross. I almost died. So here’s a thought for everyone out there… stay clear of food Todd English has touched. Thankfully he was just a bar patron at this place and not a chef because I would have thrown up. That’s my fun story of the trip.
Woke up this morning, watched last week’s episode of THE HILLS where Heidi confronted Lauren finally! It was divine. I loved watching Heidi try and claw her way back in, watching Spencer almost have a cow, watching Whitney freaking out over Lauren getting an IM from Heidi and finally watching the final blowout. You go Lauren with your bad self telling Heidi that you’d like to “forgive her and forget her.” Looooved it!
Then Jon and I went to lunch, went shopping for a good long while, and now I’m home and it’s almost time for THE AMAZING RACE. Oh crap, it’s my parent’s anniversary today. Gotta make that call.
So while I was away, the WGA and AMPTP have decided to reopen talks starting next Friday. Could this mean that things are looking up or that both sides are trying to save face? Regardless, this could mean that we have television back sooner than we thought.
Here’s a fun interview with Gavin Beasley who was the model that went on a date with Lauren this week on THE HILLS! He had damn good hair didn’t he?
Alright, man. I’m just gonna come right out and ask: how the hell did you get involved with this televised Crazy Carnival?
Last year I was booked on an editorial modeling gig, posing with Lauren for this interview she did in People Magazine. We got along, and she kept trying to set me up with Heidi, because she was on a break from Spencer or something back then, and Lauren was trying to get her to move on. But nothing ever happened with that and Lauren was dating Jason (Wahler) at the time, so we didn’t keep in touch at all. Then in August I got a call from my agency to go to a casting call for Teen Vogue, and Lauren and the camera crews just so happened to be there. She remembered me from our shoot, and the next thing I know, a producer’s asking me to ask Lauren for her number, and I’m signing release forms and being shot for The Hills. They wanted me to ask her about the runway show, how long she had worked that day, when would she get off, stuff like that.
That’s insane. So was your whole experience on the show like that?
Absolutely, from the very beginning. Like, they totally set up the BBQ scene for Brody and I to meet each other and talk because, as they said, “the audience would get a kick out of seeing ‘the ex’ talking to ‘the new guy’.” So they rent this house in Malibu for a set, bought a bunch of food and drinks, and just filmed us hanging out. Brody would talk all this sh*t, then be like, “Sorry about that, we’re just trying to make good television.” Like at one point, some other dude walked up to us while we were talking, and Brody goes, “We’re trying to film a scene here. Do you mind?”, like he’s interrupting our lines. Haha, it was some of the best acting I’ve ever done.
Would you say Bro-Dog Jenner is a Cooler Dude in person, on TV, or just Totally Cool everywhere, all the time?
The interesting thing is Brody – off camera – was a pretty chill guy. When the show came out and he was saying stuff about me – like I was short, too perfect, boring, etc – I didn’t get pissed because I know that’s all solely done for The Hills. He creates drama and a storyline. That’s why he is there.
So the big date with Lauren. What did you two actually talk about for the hours and hours you spent together that we didn’t see on the show?
I honestly had a really hard time talking to her – she’s kind of a conversation killer, and when the cameras are rolling, all conversation is kept firmly on the surface. She talked about how mean Perez Hilton was, and how you have to be nice to the Paparazzi so they don’t release the uglier pictures of you. I don’t know – pop culture, Red Bull, stuff like that. In fact, the most interesting thing I got out of her was that she isn’t allowed to eat ice cream because her trainer told her she can’t.
To read the rest of this interview which I find pretty damn fun, head on over to TheBestWeekEver.
Seriously, I fell asleep for the 3rd week in a row during HEROES. Is that a really bad sign? That means I also missed CHUCK. Some of you may think my priorities are out of whack considering I spent most of my night catching up on the last couple episodes of FX’s incredibly intricate DAMAGES and The Hills but I say that’s what I was feeling at the moment.
I did however watch HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and BIG BANG THEORY and both made me laugh my ass off.
I also have an insane day at work so I don’t know that I’ll be able to update much. I’ll try my best to post about HIMYM and some news stories. What did you all watch?
OMG, when I was getting excited for tonight’s episode of THE HILLS I completely forgot that the girl in the middle, the camera hungry Jen Bunney returned to stir the pot just a little… on both sides.
Bunney texts Lauren and wants to meet for lunch and then tells her ex-BFF that Heidi said Brody was the one who started the sex tape rumors.
Lauren then goes and has dinner with Brody and confronts him. He looks Lauren in the eye and says that 100% he knows Spencer and Heidi were behind the rumor! THANK YOU, this is what we’ve been waiting for all season!
Flash to Bunney meeting Heidi at some roadside diner (seriously where the hell was that place and every other vacant public spot The Hills featured tonight) and telling her that she Brody told Lauren Spencer and Heidi were behind it all! When Lauren asks why he would say that Bunney flat out asks Heidi if she started the sex tape rumor. This was the moment that I no longer felt sad for Jen Bunney but fell in love with her crazy star effer ass!
Heidi is beside her self and asks why she’s accusing her. Bunney says she believes that Heidi didn’t have anything to do with it but wants to know if Spencer was behind it. Mr. Freeze blew through the diner and Heidi asked for the check… please!
Back at her casa, she walks in to find Satan sitting on the couch. First off, that facial hair was back and he’s never looked like a hell hound more than with the facial hair. Second, he asks her how work was when she didn’t have to work. Does he not know what she does at all? Actually I’m shocked his leash didn’t retract when she was within 5 feet of his overbearing self.
Heidi tells Spencer and he’s like “Brody’s pathetic yadda yadda yadda” and she just says his name a couple times then stares at him. AMAZING TENSION! They at least made us think that she questions whether or not he really did start that rumor!
Sometimes I just love that Heidi, and other times I just want to throw her in the Los Angeles river.
OMG, I love THE HILLS! Almost forgot, there was some LO and the show’s always better with some LO. This week’s LO highlight… “JUSTIN BOBBY SUCKS” Kisses Lo!
THIS JUST IN from RADAR Magazine…
Spencer Pratt: “I’m making people react and ultimately not think about that we are in a war in Iraq and are trying to pick leaders.”
He then goes on to say: “It’s so much cooler to have people come up to me and be like, ‘Spencer Pratt!’, and know my name, than to be Orlando Bloom who’s famous for being some pirate…”
Humanitarian and saint!
Quotes courtesy of THE HILLS AFTER SHOW. Dan Levy I still love you more than my Mother!
It’s so wrong that going into Monday night I already feel overwhelmed. There’s too much television on for one man to handle! After a weekend of playing catch up on Doctor Who and Degrassi, I’m nervous to head into a Monday night of new shows while there’s still so much on my DVR to catch up on. I’m still 2 weeks behind on both DAMAGES and MAD MEN and their finales are this week. When the hell am I going to catch up? Is anyone else feeling my pain?
Tonight I’ll be watching:
8pm – HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER “Little Boys”
This sounds like a Robin centric episode and sometimes those are not the best. Though, to be fair… ROBIN SPARKLES was one of the best things on television in the last 5 years.
8pm – CHUCK “Chuck Versus The Wookie”
Diamonds are a terrorist’s best friend? Chuck’s (Zachary Levi) latest mission involves retrieving a milion-dollar diamond from a mansion in Malibu. The gem is apparently being used to fund terrorism. Morgan (Joshua Gomez) asks Chuck to set him up with a beautiful CIA agent.
8:30pm – BIG BANG THEORY “The Luminous Fish Effect”
Sheldon gets fired and ponders a life without Physics. Laurie Metcalf guest stars on tonight’s episode and that’s the first ROSEANNE crossover. The next will be when Johnny Galecki’s onscreen wife Darlene (Sarah Gilbert) guests in the future.
9pm – HEROES Only 1 more week until Kristen Bell arrives! Is it sad that I want to skip tonight’s episode? Tonight Micah discovers that his New Orleans based cousin also has some special powers.
10pm – THE HILLS Please give me some Lo and JustinBobby!
Before I do a quick thought-cap on tonight’s episode of THE HILLS I have to let you know that I skipped watching the recorded season premiere of HEROES because I’m psycho obsessed with Lauren and Co. With that out of the way, tonight’s THE HILLS could have only been better if it had been an hour.
Lauren mistakenly met up with Jason (seriously can she not stay away?) where he tells her that he’s dating someone and invites her to his Bday party where she’ll meet his new honeybee, the skanky Paris Hilton wannabe KATJA. Flash-forward to the kegger in the cramped apartment with the Alcoholic BDay boy where some old Laguna alum announce that Jason just got engaged to Ms. Katja, she of dating 6 months a couple days and some change. A jigga what?
The only thing better than watching Lauren’s face when he mentioned he was dating someone was watching her reaction when his engagement was announced. The looks back and forth between Lauren and Audrina were priceless and Lauren raising her glass and giving that cock-eyed smirk made my night! So awkward. Loved it. Then she told him he was a retard, Atta girl!
Some of my other fave moments:
- Jen Bunney’s optimistic speech to Heidi who really did look good in her gown. Bunney, way to be supportive! I know that you’re the only bridesmaid left but if you want to make it down the aisle with Heidi Ho, you’ll shut it.
- Spencer’s facial hair is so ridonkulous and he seriously looks like the devil. I love that he still refuses to talk to Heidi, his Fiance, like a human being. The pattern of his speech is grossly inhumane. I hate Spencer Pratt. There are times when Heidi seems so normal and that she understands that Spencer’s a douche but then she just kind of lets it out of her mind.
- Lisa Love giving her usual dramatic scolding, love that bitch!
Next week’s episode looks grand because LO is back (and any episode with Lo is hysterical) and she’s relentless with the Justin Bobby talking. “Audrina, Justin Bobby hates us” – sadly, he really does.
Seriously when I tell you that nothing makes me happier right now than watching THE HILLS, you need to understand that I’m a way stressed out boy and the deliciousnes of watching HEIDI MONTAG go down in flames simply makes my year.
The Hills has always been Must See TV but this season it’s gone from being a guilty pleasure to being arrestingly arousing reality television. Dare I say that The Hills has surpassed Laguna as the show with the most drama?
Last night was the episode we’ve been waiting for ALL SEASON! This is the episode where not only does Lauren go out with ex-Junkie/BF Jason Wahler – it’s the episode where the exes run into Heidi and Spencer!
The Scene: Jason (who’s looking pretty hot – but seriously he’s like 23 and he came back looking about 39 3/4) and Lauren go to Ketchup for dinner and while they’re sitting there getting drinks, in walks Satan and Heidi.
Lauren tenses up instantly and whispers that the spawn and his hell hound were in the house!
Dumbass Spencer walks by Lauren and Jason and says: “It’s great to see you guys back together… it’s heart warming!”
*Record scratches* and you know that Jason is about 4 seconds from snapping Spencer in half. You could have cut the tension with a pubic hair, it was insane and so awkward to watch. LOVED IT!
Next clip: Spencer saying that “Maybe she picked him up at rehab, maybe she picked him up from Jail.” Heidi (revealing the dead serious bitch she really is) says “Maybe their back in the movie making business!”
NOOOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU DIDN’T!
The best is still yet to come folks… It’s Elodie and The After-Show after the jump. (more…)
Okay, I don’t normally pull back the curtain to reveal the mechanics of the blog but I had to for this one. I can track what people search to land on my site, it’s like watching Amber self-destruct on Big Brother 8 – you just can’t stop monitoring it.
I had to point out the best and most apropos search term today: Where Does Heidi on The Hills Get Her Money?
Honey, aint that the question of the year. Where does that little thing get her dough? We saw her house in Colorado. While it was fine and all, it was a ranch. Maybe ranching paid off for her fam? I don’t know, if someone has that answer not only would I be appreciative but obviously the person search on google would be happy as well.
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